


One Step at a Time

by nerdzeword



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Harry is a good bean, Sirius Black Fest, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Raise Harry Potter, as it should have been, sirius is trying his best, wolfstar if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-01-03 20:34:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21185597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdzeword/pseuds/nerdzeword
Summary: It was a cold day, the day that James and Lily died. There had been dozens of retellings of the story over the years, but none of them had ever mentioned how cold it was. Then again, none of the storytellers had actually been there. None but two.





	One Step at a Time

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of feelings and headcanons, and many of them shine through in this. Sorry not sorry.

##  1.

It was a cold day, the day that James and Lily died. There had been dozens of retellings of the story over the years, but none of them had ever mentioned how cold it was. Then again, none of the storytellers had actually been there. None but two. 

Lily Potter would have loved the weather the day they died. Sirius just  _ knew  _ that Lily had bundled up Harry in his warmest clothes and let him play in the dying grass of their tiny garden while she nursed a mug of hot chocolate and watched him play in the fallen leaves from the porch. 

James was British through and through. He would have hated the cold weather that day. He would have stood in the doorway and complained about the cold, even as he left the door open and let all of the cold air into the house. Because as much as he hated the cold, he loved his family more. 

Sirius didn’t know any of this for sure of course. He hadn’t been there on that cold Halloween day. He hadn’t been anywhere helpful. What Sirius did know, was that by the time he arrived at Godric’s Hollow, it was freezing, and there were light flurries of snow spiraling around his feet as he ran towards the burning house. 

What Sirius knew, was the scent of smoke mixing with the cold, and both scratching and clawing at his throat as he tore up the stairs towards Harry’s room. He remembered how cold Lily’s body had felt to his touch, despite the fact that the room was still burning. He could remember the exact pitch of Harry’s screams as he picked the distraught toddler from his crib. He remembered the exact pitch of his own as he came down the stairs and finally saw the body of his best friend, his brother in all but blood, lying on the floor with eyes wide and glazed over. 

What Sirius knew was the sight of his breath, showing white against the dark as he frantically wrapped his godson in his own coat and covered them both with warming charms. He distinctly remembered how welcome the cold was against the numbness of his own thoughts. He remembered with perfect clarity every second he spent standing on the sidewalk outside of the Potter’s house, unable to do anything as he watched it burn to the ground. Every minute he spent furiously refusing to relinquish his hold on his godson as Hagrid tried to argue that Dumbledore always knew best. 

Sirius distinctly remembered thinking that if Dumbledore always knew best, he’d have had the Potters moved out of the country. Would have let them hear the entire prophecy so they knew exactly what they had been up against. He would have tried harder to keep them alive. 

Then Remus had arrived. Sweet, wonderful, beautiful Remus. And Sirius could feel his brain restart. Remus would know what to do, Remus always knew what to do.

“They’re gone Re, they’re both just- just  _ gone. _ ”

“I know Sirius. I know. But we need to get Harry out of here. Come on. We can go to my parent’s house in Wales.” Sirius shook his head.

“No. We can’t put your parents in danger like that. Your mother isn’t well. We can go to Grimmauld.”

“No. Pads- you hate that place.” 

“Maybe so, but it’s the best we’ve got for right now. It’s absolutely loaded with enchantments, and it’s the last place any stray death eaters will look.”

“Siri-”

“Remus. We can discuss a more permanent solution later. Right now this is the best we’ve got.” Remus nodded slowly and Sirius held out his hand. 

Remus’ hands were warm. His hands were always warm. Sirius wasn’t sure if that was from the Lycanthropy thing, or because Remus was just like that, but Sirius didn’t hesitate to pull him into a warm hug and just stand there in his warmth. They stood there for a long while, even after reaching Grimmauld Place, crying on each other’s shoulders. Just two kids really, who had just lost the only real family they had left. 

  
  


##  2.

Remus was the one who found the cottage. Spurred by a desperate need to get Sirius out of the house that held so many terrible memories for him, Remus had taken to the countryside, wandering the less trodden paths that criss crossed his native Wales. When that had failed to produce anything of note, he had started on some of the smaller English villages, but something told him that what he was looking for would never be found there either. 

Then he remembered the village Lily had mentioned once. She herself had grown up in Spinners End, but she had fond memories of visiting her grandparents in their native Scotland. Lily had always talked about taking Harry there someday. Her grandparents were gone, died of natural causes the summer of their fourth year, but the town they had lived in remained. 

Remus left Sirius with Harry once again and set out to Scotland, if he could fulfill even one of Lily’s wishes for her son, he would. It took him a few hours and three different train rides, but he made it to the town. It didn’t look like much, it was so similar to every other town in Scotland, Every other town in England. But he thought there might be something different about this town. He could feel it, thrumming in the air. It felt like old magic. Deep magic, like the kind used by the fey. The kind used by Hogwarts.

He waded through the snow as he strolled through town, following the trails of whoever else was desperate enough to go out in this cold. Remus thought he had left the frigid Scotland weather behind him when he had graduated Hogwarts. He had thought he had left behind his best friends when he graduated Hogwarts as well however, but they had shown up on his parents doorstep and demanded that he stop moping and just come home already. 

It seemed that Scotland was hosting a similar intervention.

He shoved his way into one of the shops, fighting the wind as it tried to push the door shut against him. He didn’t bother with the shop name, everyone knew everyone in towns like this, and Remus wanted to find the cottage Lily had spoken about so fondly. He felt like he owed it to her somehow. 

“Hello dear!” The woman at the counter greeted him. He looked around, it seemed to be a little general or off license store, but it seemed he was the only customer.

“Hello. I was wondering if you might be able to help me?” He asked quietly. 

“Oh, a southerner are you, we don’t get those often!”

“Oh, yes well, I was actually looking for the childhood home of a friend of mine. I don’t know the owner’s names, just her granddaughter’s, but I know they passed around seven years ago?”

“Oh dear me, you must be looking for the McCarthey Cottage. Them McCarthey’s were such good people, and those granddaughters of theirs? Absolute delights! Which one of them are you friends with?” Remus didn’t think he had ever heard anyone refer to Petunia Dursley Nee Evans as a delight, but Lily had certainly fit the part. 

“Oh, Erm, Lily. The younger one.”

“Oh Lily! Such a dear! She must be what, 20? 21 now?”

“Oh, um. She and her husband actually passed away not too long ago. I actually have custody of their son. Lily always talked about her grandparent’s house so fondly though, I thought it might be good to bring him back.”

“Oh my! I’m sorry to hear that dear. The cottage has sat empty for years now. I’m not even sure who owns it t’ be quite frank, but if you’d like to go up and have a look around, I’m sure no one would mind.”

“I would very much appreciate that. Thank you.” She gave him directions and sent him on his way. The snow had grown deeper in the few minutes he’d been inside, and the wind nipped at his nose whenever he pulled it too far from his scarf. He found himself once again thankful that he was a wizard and could cast warming charms to stave off the last of the cold. The cottage sat at the top of a small hill, backed to a small wood. It had obviously been abandoned for a while, but it wasn’t in bad shape all things considered. He walked up to the door and stopped suddenly. Where his shoes had rubbed away the snow, he could see the outlines of runes hidden in the wood grain. Anyone who wasn’t looking for them would never know they were there. 

Remus immediately recognized them as ancient runes of protection and fortitude. If he had to guess, he’d say that they probably had far more runes carved into the foundations as well. He wondered if that was why no one had bought the house yet. Maybe it was waiting for the right owner. He placed his hand on the door before he could talk himself out of it. 

It warmed to the touch and the lock clicked open. 

Remus thought as he entered, that if the village had felt like old magic, this cottage felt ancient. He understood why as soon as he saw the interior. If the exterior had looked good for having been sitting for seven years, the inside looked like it had been used only yesterday. The floors and furniture were free of dust, and the house was warm as if it had had a fire running all winter. 

Remus had dabbled in ancient and arcane magics when he was at Hogwarts, but had soon found himself distracted by his actual classwork and his friends’ shenanigans. Lily had always had a far more dedicated interest in it. If this was the house she grew up in, he thought he could understand why. He may not have been the expert she had been, but even he knew that when you are chosen by old magic, you really have no choice but to listen.

Maybe it was his magical blood. Maybe it was his connection to Harry, who was no doubt the house’s successor. Or maybe whatever ley lines lay beneath this place judging him by some unknown criteria and finding him worthy. No matter the reason, Remus knew that this place was meant for him and his new family. 

“I’ll be back.” He told the house. “I’ll be back and we’ll do our best to make you a home again.” 

##  3.

The small family settled well into the small cottage. Sirius wasn’t sure if it was the ancient magic, or just being out of his old house that had helped more, but he felt more alive in the McCarthey Cottage than he had since before James and Lily had died. Hell, since before they had graduated from Hogwarts. 

Remus had also calmed significantly since the move. He seemed far more at ease than Sirius thought he had ever seen him. Maybe he enjoyed the time to actually pursue his interests, which currently included trying to understand the magic that controlled their new home. Maybe he thought that he was safer at the cottage because the magic could stop him if he were to ever lose control of his wolf again. Maybe there was something in the air. Sirius didn’t even care enough to ask him and find out. He was happy, Remus was happy, and Harry was having the time of his life. It was a shame it only took one letter from Dumbledore to have it all crashing back down again. 

In the safety of the cottage, and even the village as a whole, they had come accustomed to being able to push away the past. It was far easier to remember the good things about their friends and their Hogwarts years when they were there. And who wanted to remember the bad?

Harry was three years old, and the fall chill was just beginning to settle back over the area when they saw the owl land on the fencepost outside. They hadn’t had any sort of correspondence other than Remus’ parents since they had finished testifying against Peter at the ministry, and gone to Gringotts to ensure that Dumbledore couldn’t try and take advantage of Harry any further. As it was, they’d had to force him to give up the key to Harry’s Gringotts vault, which was a rather difficult feat all on its own. 

Sirius knew it would do no good to keep the owl waiting. Albus was tenacious like that. He pulled the letter off of the owl’s leg and gave him a piece of the chicken he had been making for dinner. 

“What’s that?” Remus asked when he got back into the cottage, finally looking up from whatever tome he had found in the attic this time.

“Dumbledore caught up to us again.” Remus frowned. 

“Does he know where we are?” 

“No, I don’t think so. I think he’s most likely going to try starting up a correspondence with us so he can confirm we received it. Then when he sends his reply, attach a tracking spell to the owl.”

“That’s surprisingly smart for you Sirius.”

“Ha bloody ha. What are we going to do about it? I’m not going to even open the stupid letter if I think theres a chance he could use it to find us.”

“Well, there’s always the fidelius.”

“Is that really the safest plan? Especially after-”

“Sirius. I know you’re worried about what happened to James and Lily. But that wasn’t a problem with the Fidelius. It was a problem with the secret keeper.” Sirius sighed. He knew that, he knew it hadn’t been the fidelius’ fault. Or even his fault. It was Peter, and Peter alone who had made the decision to betray their friends. And one day Peter would pay for it,but it still made Sirius hesitant to place himself or what was left of his family in that position again. Remus took his hand, fingers warm as always. 

“Do you trust me Sirius? Do you trust  _ us _ ? We’re a team. Now and always.” Sirius watched Remus’ honey colored eyes. 

“Alright. We do the Fidelius. You be the secret keeper. Then we open Dumbledore’s letter and tell him to go to hell.” 

“That’s the spirit!” For such a complicated spell, it really took very little time at all to set up. They walked around the property setting up markers, making sure to include a bit of the woods just in case. Sirius and Remus had been taking turns brewing the Wolfsbane potion each month, and thus far werewolf Remus had been perfectly content to sleep off the curse in the safety of the old cellar they had converted. You could never be too safe however. 

Before they actually cast the spell however, they took a moment to warn the cottage what they were doing. Sirius felt a bit silly doing so, but even he knew better than to introduce modern magic into something infused with old magic without any sort of warning. Hogwarts was the exception, built specifically for the learning and creation of new magics, not the rule. 

The house didn’t react, which they counted as a good thing. It wouldn’t be until days later that Sirius would wonder if the Fidelius was even a new spell at all. It certainly didn’t use a latin root, as most modern spells did. 

“What's that?” Harry asked, waddling his way into the kitchen, where Sirius and Remus were still staring at the letter. 

“A letter.” Sirius picked him up and sat him on his lap. “Alright Remus, no more dilly dallying. What does the old man want?” Remus peeled open the letter, breaking the wax Hogwarts seal on it as Harry watched, entranced. Remus read through the letter quickly. 

“He implores us to give him custody of Harry, as there are things at stake that are beyond our comprehension.” Sirius bounced Harry on his leg to keep it from going numb from the little boy’s weight. 

“That’s just rude.” He informed Harry. He nodded seriously, obviously not having a clue what was going on, but wanting to participate anyway. 

“He’s talking about the prophecy again isn’t he?” Sirius asked, Harry rested his head on his shoulder and Sirius had to swipe the hand from his mouth again. They had been trying to break Harry of sucking on his thumb.

“Looks like it.” 

“Tell him we’re not giving him anything without knowing all of the information, and that includes hearing the full prophecy from the Ministry itself.” Remus picked up his pen but stopped before writing anything.

“Sirius. You can’t seriously be-” 

Sirius snorted.“No of course not. But if we at least pretend to play along, we can at least figure out what sort of game he’s playing here. I for one, would like to know exactly where he’s planning on sending Harry, seeing as I highly doubt he wants to take care of a three year old himself.”

“I three! I three!” Harry perked up and held up three fingers, like Remus had taught him on his birthday. 

“That you are Bambi!” 

“Do you actually want to hear the prophecy?” Remus asked

“Nah. Prophecies are finicky anyway, and _ that  _ prophecy has already gotten--” Sirius glanced down at Harry. “People hurt. Let it stay forgotten.” Remus smiled at him over his glasses.

“One step at a time, eh Pads?”

“One step at a time.”

  
  


##  4.

They had lived in the cottage for nearly four years by the time Sirius had convinced Remus to stop trying to look for a new job and just open a used bookstore in town. After all, it wasn’t as if anyone else was using any of the abandoned storefronts. One of the neighbors had explained it to him once. The town had been far larger years ago, but with the introduction of the larger department stores a few towns over, many of the family owned trades slowly went out of business and people started moving out of town in order to find work. 

Remus could relate. 

The first snow of the year just happened to fall the weeknd of the grand opening of Lupin’s Books, which worked rather well for them in actuality, as it meant that it limited the number of muggles out and about to see the arrival of all of his wizarding visitors. Some of them were less than subtle. He never ceased to be baffled at the sheer incompetence of some of the wizarding population when it came to anything muggle. 

On top of the rather impressive collection of books that he and Sirius had gathered in the last few years, they had found a large collection of very rare and  _ very  _ expensive books in the Grimmauld Library, and had managed to rig themselves an only slightly illegal secret magical side of the shop in order to bring in some book collectors. The best part about the whole thing was that the spell he had used to create the extra space had come from a book in the attic of their own cottage, and simply layered the two spaces on top of one another so he didn’t have to try and run two different storefronts.

“Like a pocket dimension.” Sirius had said. 

“Not even a little. You read too much sci fi.” Remus had replied. Despite not having a clue on how the shop worked, Sirius hadn’t even hesitated to help him with the rather long and complicated spell however, so Remus counted himself lucky. 

Harry had not been invited to the opening. They didn’t think he was anywhere near ready to handle his near celebrity status yet, and they doubted anyone showing up would care to bother to keep it under wraps or even attempt to not overwhelm the poor boy. Harry had pouted for days, but it turned out the be the right decision, as not even ten minutes into the event, Sirius had started getting people asking if he was still in contact with his godson. 

It made Remus so angry to see all of these people who felt like they were somehow entitled to his ward’s life because they also lived in the world his parents had died saving. Sirius was even angrier. It was only Remus’ warning glare that kept Sirius from blowing up at the unsuspecting wizards. By the end of the night, both of them were exhausted from the combined forces of social interaction, and attempting to keep their cool in the face of so many people asking them about the boy they were intentionally keeping hidden.

“How was it, was it fun?” Harry asked them eagerly as they picked him up from his friend’s house the next morning.

“Not very fun at all.” Sirius said overdramatically, nearly matching the pout Harry had put on the night before. Harry laughed at Sirius’ antics and dragged them inside to show them the blanket fort he and his friend had made. 

##  5.

“You have your books?” A firm nod. 

“Your robes?” Another nod.

“Hedwig?” Harry finally gave in and groaned. 

“Yes Padfoot! I have everything!” Sirius grinned and ruffled his hair. 

“You’re gonna do great kid. Just remember the rules and you’ll be fine. And no matter what Moony tells you, Minnie loved us and will probably love you too, so suck up as much as possible.” Harry rolled his eyes.

“Hey, don’t roll your eyes at me, you know how much Remus hates that. Don’t go coming back with bad habits now. There are enough bad habits in our family thank you, you don’t need to be getting more. Because you know who Moony will blame? Me. Harry. He will blame me.” Harry pointedly rolled his eyes again, but looked around. 

“Where is Moony anyway?”

“He had a buyer this morning who ‘absolutely couldn’t postpone their appointment’” Harry snorted. 

“Rich pricks.”

“Exactly. But don’t let anyone else hear you say that. I’m trying to convince people that I’m a decent parental figure here Bambi.”

“No one thinks that you are the parental figure in our family Pads.”

“Hey!”

“I’m just saying, one of your rules is ‘don’t get caught’.”

“It’s an important rule Harry!” Harry smiled, but it quickly fell. “What’s wrong pup?”

“It’s just… What if no one wants to be my friend because of me? What if they only like me because I’m famous?” Sirius knelt down so he was eye level with Harry. Remus was so much better at the touchy feely stuff, but Remus wasn’t here, so he’d have to figure it out for himself this time.

“Hey. If they don’t like you for who you are, that’s on them. Because I know for a fact that you are by far the coolest eleven year old to go to Hogwarts since your mum was eleven.”

“Not my dad?”

“Your dad? Pft no. He was so awkward it was almost painful to watch him. That’s why I befriended him actually. It was hurting me how awkward he was.” That was a lie. 

Sirius had been the awkward one. The one who was too loud, too obnoxious, too much. James was always the cool one, the put together one, the one who got everyone else out of trouble with his quick wit or quick reflexes. Not that he didn’t have his moments; every time he so much as saw Lily, he would freeze up and turn into a babbling mess. And Sirius was near positive that his popularity never actually took off outside of the quidditch court, there wasn’t a person who went to that school that hadn’t been hit with one or another of their pranks. 

But Harry had always tried to find pieces of himself in his parent’s memories, and as much as he hated saying anything bad about James and Lily, that included their faults. As Remus put it, it wasn’t fair for them to place James and Lily on an unreachable pedestal. So they had told him everything. He had his father’s hair and complexion. He had his mothers eyes. He had his father’s quick reflexes and his mother’s quick temper. He had his father’s complete disregard for the rules and his mother’s need to be liked. 

“But what if, what if they don’t like me at all?”

“Impossible.”

“You have to say that. You’re my dad.”

“It doesn’t mean I don’t mean it. Look, even if they don’t like you, it doesn’t change anything because no matter what, you do have people who love you. You have that whole group of friends from your muggle primary remember. And you have every single one of the shop ladies wrapped around your finger. And most importantly, you have me and you have Moony. And I promise you Harry, we’re never going to make you do anything alone. Even if we’re not physically there, we’ll always have your back.” Harry nodded and gave him a watery smile. 

“Good. Now what are the rules?”

“Don’t get caught. Don’t let Dumbledore speak to me alone-”

“That’s why you’re going to befriend Minnie, got it.” Harry ignored his interruption.

“I don’t have to do anything for anyone if I don’t want to. I am not obligated to answer questions about my life.”

“And the number one rule?”

“I can ask for help.”

“You can always ask for help. You can ask friends for help, you can ask Minnie for help and you know Remus is always looking for a reason to get away from the rich pricks, so if you need help just call us and we’ll be there, Got it.” Harry nodded and hugged him.

“Love you Pads.”

“Love you too Bambi. Now go get ‘em.” Harry nodded 

As Sirius waved back to the not so little boy who was hanging out the window, he wondered if the sun might have shone even brighter, had James and Lily been the ones doing this. He wondered if he might have spent the rest of his life feeling the same chill he’d felt on that October night if he hadn’t gotten custody of the boy he was sending off. 

He turned away from the still retreating train and walked back toward the entrance. It didn’t matter what might have happened, really. Because this is what had, and Sirius wasn’t cold anymore.


End file.
